fuckingrecipes:

WELL BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A BISCUIT

WE’RE GOING TO MAKE SOME GODDAMN SODA POP COBBLER.

LEAP ONTO YOUR TAMED KOMODO DRAGON AND FIERCELY WOBBLE-WALK TO THE NEAREST MARKETPLACE, WHERE YOU’LL TRADE THE SCALPS OF THE BASTARDS THAT BETRAYED YOU FOR SOME WHITE CAKE MIX, FROZEN FRUIT OF YOUR CHOICE, AND A BOTTLE OF SODA OF YOUR CHOICE.

FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKING COBBLER WE’LL USE FROZEN BLACKBERRIES AND 7 UP.

USING DARK SODA WILL YIELD SOME INTERESTING RESULTS AND IM NOT SURE YOU’RE READY FOR THIS SHIT! CHOOSE A CLEAR OR YELLOW SODA, ASSHOLE!

LEAP BACK ONTO YOUR STEED AFTER SLAYING THE HUMANOID REPRESENTATION OF EVIL IN THE UNIVERSE AND FLY BACK TO YOUR CAVE, LEAVING A FIERY PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN YOUR WAKE.
THROW ALL THAT SHIT ON THE COUNTER AND GET A GLASS CAKEPAN. SPRAY THAT BASTARD WITH NO-STICK COOKING OIL OR USE THE GOLDEN TEARS OF YOUR ENEMIES TO COAT THE PAN EVENLY.

NEXT YOU’LL PERFORM THE HIGHEST LEVEL ALCHEMY TO POUR AN IMPECCABLE AMOUNT OF FROZEN BLACKBERRIES INTO THE PAN. 3 CUPS IS FINE IF YOU’RE UNCERTAIN ABOUT YOUR ABILITY TO DRAW CIRCLES.

 PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF IT UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY BEFORE POURING THE BAG OF WHITE CAKE MIX ON TOP, COATING THAT GODDAMN SHIT EVENLY. 
HOWL TO YOUR WOLF BRETHREN FOR A FEW MINUTES WHILE THAT GLORIOUS  MIXTURE SITS AND SETTLES. 

AFTER CATCHING UP WITH YOUR WOLF PARENTS (MAKE SURE THEY HARBOR NO HARD FEELINGS FOR THE HUMAN LIFESTYLE - WE DON’T WANT ANY FAMILY WARS GOING ON, THAT SHIT SUCKS)  USE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TEETH TO RIP OPEN THAT (12 oz) BOTTLE OF SODA AND POUR THAT BREW OVER THE CAKE-ENCRUSTED BLACKBERRIES LIKE YOU WOULD POUR THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES INTO YOUR RITUAL CHAMBER. DON’T FUCK WITH DEMONS, MAN. THEY’RE ASSHOLES AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.

MAKE SURE THAT THE CAKEMIX IS COATED, MOSTLY EVENLY WITH SODA, BUT DON’T MIX THAT SHIT! GENTLY NUDGE IT AROUND WITH THE BACK OF A SPOON. 

POP THAT MOTHERFUCKER INTO THE OVEN AT 350 DEGREES FARENHEIT FOR 40 MINUTES OR UNTIL ITS AS GOLDEN BROWN AS THE SUNSET ON THE DAY YOU SLAYED THAT QUEEN DRAGON THAT USED TO LIVE IN YOUR MAJESTIC CAVE.

YOU BETTER WAIT FOR THAT SHIT TO COOL  BECAUSE IT’LL BE  AS HOT AS HADES WHEN IT COMES OUT OF THAT HELLFIRE. OR DONT; YOUR BADASS MOUTH CAN HANDLE IT.

SIT BACK, RELAX, AND ENJOY YOUR GODDAMN SODA POP COBBLER. 

IF YOU’RE COUNTING CALORIES OR HAVE DIETARY RESTRICTIONS, DIFFERENT BRANDS OF CAKE MIX AND SODA ARE INTERCHANGEABLE. DIET RITE AND SUGAR-FREE CAKE MIX? SHIT MAN, I DON’T CARE. 

IF SOME ASSHOLE WANTS TO USE CHOCOLATE CAKE MIX AND DARK COLA WITH LIKE… PEARS OR SOME SHIT, TELL ME HOW IT TURNS OUT. 

nasty-otter:

If you think about it potatoes don’t really get all that much credit

they’re fucking awesome

this one thing here

can be made into:

different variations of fries

regular,

curly,

waffle.

It can be made into chips

or ruffly 

you can make hashbrowns with it

even a salad

add some fuckin cheese to those potatoes

you can have it sliced and diced

or baked

you can make tater tots

hell you can even eat the skin

or just have little potato nuggets

thank u potatoes

(via fyeahbritishyoutubers)